A few weeks ago, I (Kenzie) read through the account of Abraham & Isaac in Genesis 22. Here God tests Abraham's faithfulness by asking him to sacrifice his only son as an offering. Like many others who have grown up in the church, I've heard this story time and time again. It's easy to read the story in light of its ending. God sends an angel to stop Abraham from killing his son.& instead provides a ram to sacrifice on the mountain. Hooray! We happily gloss over the details, then admire Abraham's faith and devotion to God. Not this time. I finished reading, turned to Calvin, and said "Okay, now where are the follow up chapters that talk about how Isaac never trusted his dad again, spent the rest of his life in therapy recovering from trauma, and decided this "God of Abraham" thing was not for him? Can you imagine the conversation between Abraham & Sarah when they return from their trip? "Welcome back, honey, how was your trip with your dad? Good bonding time?"
But, as with many of the details of the Bible, the reader is left to imagine. Daddy issues. That's what I imagine. Serious PTSD, trust problems, and big-time daddy issues. In fact, this story haunted me for weeks. I really struggled with why God would test Abraham like this. We praise Abraham for his faithfulness, yet I have to wonder about the task set before him. Anyone who tried to do the same today in the name of God would end up with CPS at their front door & a nice, long jail sentence.
Calvin gave me a good read on this, which gave good insights, but still didn't ease the tension I felt. As I reflected & struggled through my questions, I have come to no profound or comforting conclusion. In fact, it still makes me really uncomfortable. But as I continue to wrestle with my discomfort over this story, I've realized how comfortable I've become with the gospel. Here is this story of a father, asked to sacrifice his one and only son, and I am appalled. I'm cringing, sweating, then relieved that he doesn't have to go through with it. Yet here's another story I'm very comfortable with - a father sacrifices his one and only son, who willingly agrees to die, and no one stops it. In fact the crowds encourage it. And I'm indifferent. Hmm...sound like a familiar story line?
My intense discomfort with Abraham's story has only highlighted my silence to the Father's willingness to do the same. Abraham proved his love and devotion to the Lord. And the Lord has proved his love, devotion, and forgiveness to us in Jesus. He has spared nothing to pursue us, to show us His amazing love, yet sometimes I sit back with my own spiritual daddy issues, uncertain if I'm ready to trust Him.
May I continue to hear with fresh ears and react when I hear the absurdity of the gospel - that a Father would give his only Son to ransom us. That deserves a reaction. It's a story worth telling. It's a God worth getting to know.
It seems like Christian discipleship used to be a lot tougher than it is now. I feel like a good Christian, but I live a good life and am very blessed materially (and in other ways), I will probably live to a ripe old age and not get stoned for my beliefs, and the sacrifices I make are minuscule in comparison (not that I'm comparing myself to a prophet, but still!). Sure, I've been made fun of, sure, but no physical harm. In fact, I've come to associate happiness, living a good life, and so forth with being a Christian, when clearly this was not always so. I wouldn't imagine that Abraham and Isaac were feeling like this was part of an abundant life, you know? Thoughts?
ReplyDeleteElise - good question & thoughts. I absolutely agree that Christianity has a great sense of comfort in the States. Unfortunately, I think this comfortability can often be stifling to our spiritual growth or pursuit of Jesus. Our lives are often not much different than those around us. Like you said, I may experience some teasing for being old fashioned, but do people really see Jesus exuding from me? Is my life different enough to even notice? Christian brothers & sisters I've met in Uganda or Mexico seem to have an unquenchable desire & unrelenting dependance on Jesus for all things. Often our material blessings & ease of life here can trick us into subtly believing we don't really need God, we've got it covered on our own. It doesn't take much probing into Jesus' life or the life of his disciples to see comfort was not a common friend like it is ours. Jesus' teachings & commands were radical, as were the lives of his disciples & early church. He tells us that the world will hate his followers, just as it hated him; that it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for the rich to enter the Kingdom of God, etc. Maybe my aversion to Abraham's willingness to sacrifice his son also highlights my lack of devotion to sacrifice all things to the Lord. Have you experienced anything similar? What do you think?
Delete