In His/Her Own Likeness

I love Genesis and reading of the creation of humanity.  It's beautiful to know that man and woman are created in the likeness and image of God. Though God is completely other and different from us, nonetheless we share a similarity with God.  We come from God, we find that our life flows from God, we are somehow like God, but we are not God nor can we be equated with him.  In God's creation of humanity, there is similarity and difference, continuity alongside originality. In this tension between similarity and difference, there was the opportunity that God's creation, made in his image, might choose to live contrary to that divine image.

When I reflect on God's creation of humanity, I think there is something we can learn about parenting.  Now I'm not a parent, nor am I expecting to be a parent anytime soon. But as one who works with high school students and their parents, I've had the opportunity to observe both good and bad parenting. One thing that I've noticed is the temptation for parents to fashion their children into their own image.  Just as God creates in his own likeness, parents create children in their own likeness as well. Children adopt their parents facial structure, personality quirks, mannerisms, and even the tone of voice.  I've heard many parents say how simultaneously joyful and frightening it is to see the similarities between themselves and their children. In one sense, it is inevitable that children will be made in the likeness of their parents.

The temptation is in the fashioning. I imagine that another human being that looks like you, talks like you, and acts like you can feel like the extension of one's self. When this human being fails, it feels like you've failed.  When they look bad, they make you look bad. But if you can keep them from failing, from messing up, from making the same mistakes you made, then maybe they might turn out better than you did.

And so parents begin to fashion. Urging their child to play a certain sport. Requiring practice so similar mistakes aren't made. Demanding a better performance in school saying, "'B's' just aren't good enough." High standards, lofty expectations, and a persistent drive for more. And over time, I think children will come to realize that these standards weren't for the child, but for the parent. This is one, of many, reasons why children resist their parents.

God is the one who fashions, molds, and transforms.  He invites parents into that process but in the end, its His work and His job.  Just as God made humanity different, so too children are different than their parents.  Children are not a second chance for parents, but an entirely new creation.  Parenting absolutely involves discipline, training, and instruction, but above all else, a parent's calling is to not fashion their children into their own image, but into God's image.  This is God's work.  Parent's get the sheer joy of being a part of it.