Sometimes I strongly dislike reading the Bible. I know it sounds unChristian to say that, but its true. Before you begin to question my salvation or my calling to pastoral ministry, let me explain.
I believe that the way that we have treated Scripture and approached it has created a set of false expectations of what we expect to experience when we enter into God's word. I've heard many pastors encourage the practice of reading Scripture in the morning (which I agree with) so that you begin the day correctly and see everything through God's eyes.But sometimes when this application is put forth, there seems to be an idea that you will always get something out of Scripture. That whenever you read it, God's going to show you something new and radically change your day. I know I've even said this before in my teachings. The problem is that this isn't always true, nor does it always happen. Maybe I'm doing something wrong, but sometimes I read God's word and it's really boring. Sometimes I feel like I'm just reading and nothing more. And when I "get nothing out of it," I'm disappointed.
Other times, (prepare yourself for broad generalization) we see Scripture as an Encyclopedia of spiritual truths and promises that will make our day better. And so we read the juggernaut passages that proclaim, "I know the plans I have for you," "Your name is written in the palm of my hand," "I can do anything through Christ who gives me strength." But we enter into our day and it's not long before we get in a fight with a close friend, find out we might not be able to pay rent, or just feel completely abandoned by God. Thus Scripture can give hope, but it can also be a reminder of how far we are from living these spiritual insights. Again, I get disappointed.
The issue in both instances above is not Scripture, but in the way we think of it and approach it. Scripture does not exist to give you a spiritual high for the day. The Bible is not an encyclopedia to give you spiritual insights for the day. It is not the tool to make sure that your day is better. It does not exist to assure you that you are good enough, smart enough, and gosh darn it people like you. The Bible is the revelation of God. We read it, not to gather information, but to encounter and be encountered by God. So I think it makes sense that we be disappointed when Scripture doesn't make us feel good or doesn't seem to provide spiritual insights because it was never meant to do that. In God's word we get to know God.
At this point, you probably want to hear me say that when I read God's word as a means to know God and to hear him speak, then I enjoy reading the Bible. But again, when I do hear God speak, I don't often like what he says. He calls away from comfort, away from feeling good, away from the security of self and into a death that will ultimately lead to life. But I've gotta get through that death first. And a lot of the time, I don't like the process of death. I'm not sure many do. Don't get me wrong.
I was reading Matthew 13 today and over and over again, Jesus tells these picture/stories of what his kingdom looks like. It looks like a seed that bears fruit, yielding a hundredfold. It looks like a tiny seed that grows into the biggest tree. It looks like yeast that transforms the whole loaf of bread. Wheat and weeds living together. A man selling all he has to buy a field. A merchant giving everything he owns to purchase a pearl. A net that gathers fish. And the more I read the more I realized how far from this kingdom life I am. In these parables, I heard the voice of God beckoning me to death. Come to the grave. Give me your dry bones and into them, I will breathe life.
You might be wanting me to close with an exhortation to read Scripture. I think you should. Even though I don't always like it, I keep doing it. I need it. It really is life for my soul. There have absolutely been times when God speaks his peace and comfort over me. There are times when I come to his living stream and drink deeply of the life that he gives. But if you're only looking to feel good, the Bible's not the place for that. If you want to have your life flipped upside down, your world transformed, and your life altered, then read Scripture. You'll be speaking with God, but there's no promise that you'll like what he says.
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