Who is my neighbor?

Recently Calvin & I watched a documentary on sustainable farming. We've all seen something like this before - eating fresh, organic, naturally produced (albeit more expensive) food, rather than the mass produced, chemically altered, processed food that contains more words that you can't pronounce than actual nutritional content. A "Stick it to the man!" type film. You get the picture? Well naturally, our expertise in 8 months of gardening on our apartment balcony + all 2 farmer's markets we've gone to in the last year + the 10 day cleanse that got us on a health kick = the Sodestrom's completely converted (at least in theory) to eating fresh food from local farms that encourages sustainable farming. (Good thing Berkeley prides itself on organic food & local fresh markets!) Check in with us in 6 months & see how we're doing on our new commitment...see our New Years resolutions on consistent blogging & you can see our trajectory on these things.

The documentary is called Fresh, and it actually had some really great points on the farm industry, like how the land was designed to naturally thrive, how the industrialization of America has compromised quality & created a system that is unsustainable, and how we are to properly care for & steward creation. It's definitely worth a watch. Anyway, the point here is that we are painfully guilty of band-waggoning on ideas & then getting on a soap box about them. We keep joking we just watch documentaries to bring them up in casual conversation in a way that sounds slightly condescending to others, though our lives typically remain unchanged. With this joke is fresh in my mind, I had a convicting realization today on my lunch break -it's not just topics of creation care or green living that can get us on a soapbox unmatched by our actions - it's also the lifestyle that our Lord calls us to.

If you've had in depth conversations about the church with us anytime in the past few years, it's likely that you've heard us talk about making a shift toward "missional communities" rather than program driven churches. Basically this means followers of Jesus that take seriously the calling of loving their neighbor intentionally & consistently rather than just inviting people to some church program. But in a culture of fenced-in homes & closed garage doors, actually knowing your immediate neighbors is more difficult than you'd think. And it takes a lot of time and energy! If you're familiar with the Parable of the Good Samaritan, you'll know that Jesus expands the definition of our neighbor to not just those that live within a short proximity, but all we come in contact, friend & foe alike. We've tried to focus on those immediately surrounding us first. Admittedly, we have not done as well as we'd like in this area - but hey, we know our neighbors names, talk with the kids outside, bring fresh cookies over every once in awhile - it's a step right? We've dreamt about bringing the kingdom life to our neighborhoods through authentic community. Today I realized, though, that sometimes I believe that dreaming or caring about something is enough. But the true freedom & obedience comes not in well articulated visions or soap boxes, but in the daily, faithful work of doing something.

Here's where the Lord kicks my butt. I was sitting outside of Starbucks on my lunch break when I heard a woman trying to start her car, but it wouldn't turn over. I glanced up from my reading my Bible, thought "Hmm, that car is not going anywhere, I wonder if she needs some help" then went right back to reading. The woman's car was directly in my line of vision, so I watched the story unfold. I noticed that a few minutes later two women had popped up her hood to see if they could figure out what was going on. Still no start. Enter my excuses here - "I know nothing about cars...the only thing I can do is provide jumper cables...if those women don't know how to help her, I certainly can't help her...it doesn't sound like it's a battery issue..." On and on. The kicker - I was literally reading Luke 10 when Jesus tells the parable of the Good Samaritan. Seriously, Kenzie? Does it get more blatant than that?  Worse even, a few minutes later I look up and there is a man jumping her car, then she drove away. The one thing I could have actually helped with, and my car was parked only 2 spots away from her...

Don't you love those not-so-gentle reminders from the Lord? How easy it is to be caught up in a vision of loving our neighbors & then blatantly not pursue what is so obvious in front of us. In the parable, the Samaritan man pays at least 2 days earnings for this stranger's well being, putting him up in an inn, dressing his wounds, personally caring for & checking on him. True love & care of our neighbor often includes sacrifice of time, of money, of energy, of convenience. My sacrifice today would have been minimal -  walking 50 feet, ask the woman if I could help, and let my car run for a few minutes - but could have changed the woman's day. Instead I chose to get wrapped up in a nice idea rather than its' natural conclusion right in front of me.

I suppose this blog has no real up-lifting message or exhortation toward better living, but an honest confession that I imagine you all can relate to more than you'd like to admit. Moments like today's break away my sugar-coated view of myself and reveal the hypocrisy that so many others see in the church.  Hypocrisy isn't always acts of commission, sometimes it's in acts of omission or in the laziness of my heart. Today I'm reminded that all things, from eating conscientiously to being a good neighbor, are an invitation to live well, not just believe well.

Our Next Adventure - Part II

“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? ... But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." --Matthew 6:24-34

God is good, and He continues to provide! Throughout our journey of stepping out in faith, He has been abundantly gracious to us. When we initially took our first steps of obedience in resigning from Canyon Hills in preparation for moving back to the Bay Area, we were completely empty handed. Almost immediately after taking our step of faith, door after door began to open at churches. We continued to pray our simple prayers of unity, peace, and provision. We knew we wanted this next church family to be home for us, not just a job, but a place to lay roots.

Just as He's promised, God has been faithful to provide for our needs. With great joy & excitement, we are humbled to announce we will be joining a great community of believers at First Presbyterian Church of Berkeley! Calvin will be joining staff as the Director of Youth & Family Ministry, working with the middle school & high school coordinators to minister to the youth and their families in Berkeley and the surrounding cities. First Pres Berkeley has a long, rich heritage in the city of Berkeley and we are honored to jump on board what God is already doing in and through them. We're packing up & moving August 1st, and our first day there will be August 4th -- we're gonna hit the ground running!

After getting the call, we felt so incredibly loved & known by God. His fingerprints are all over this process - from the initial job posting, conversations & interactions with the search committee, our times of prayer, and affirmation from others. He knows our needs, our passions, our personalities, our giftings and has aligned them well. When we were processing the decision with some close friends, we asked for their prayer as we discerned God's confirmation in the job offer. Our friend responded - "We will absolutely keep praying for you, but I think this offer is the answer, not the question." He summarized our hearts well. We are at peace & excited to stretch new muscles in an urban, diverse environment, exploring this journey one step at a time. 

More recently, Kenzie has accepted a job at William Hezmalhalch Architechs (WHA) as a Receptionist/Project Administrator in their San Ramon office. As has been with the rest of God's provision in our move, the WHA staff has been gracious, welcoming, and flexible with our timeline. Looks like we'll be keeping a close connection to Canyon Hills! (Bill Hezmahlach, the owner of WHA, is an elder at CHFC).

Please pray for this time of transition. Transitions are never easy, but transitioning well is so, so important for everyone involved moving forward. Pray God's blessing over all Canyon Hills' transitions, for all of the logistics of our move, for humility in joining this new church community, and for the First Pres team as they welcome Calvin. Please also pray for God's provision for housing - we are quickly being initiated into the highly priced and competitive housing market of the bay area. We're praying for an affordable, homey place in Berkeley/North Oakland where we can open up our home for others & bring the Kingdom life into our neighborhood...oh, and pet friendly! :) He has been faithful thus far, and we are confident he will continue to provide!

Thanks for your prayers & encouragements through this process.

Calvin & Kenzie

P.S. Here's the sweet announcement letter that First Pres sent out to their youth families this week:

Dear Youth Families,

We are delighted to share the news that Calvin Sodestrom will join the staff of First Pres as our new Director of Youth and Family Ministry. Calvin is currently the High School Director at Canyon Hills Friends Church in Yorba Linda, CA; prior to holding that position, he served as its Junior High Director. Calvin has a BA in Christian Education from Biola University and graduated in May with a Masters of Divinity from Azusa Pacific Graduate School of Theology. Calvin loves God and is excited to share the good news of Jesus with our youth.

We spent a great deal of time in the search process, including meeting with youth families at the very onset and taking that feedback to develop a set of questions and approach for each candidate. Each finalist was carefully reviewed. We conducted multiple interviews, checked numerous references, and we prayed. Calvin was our first choice, and we are very pleased that he has chosen to join us on staff at First Pres.

Calvin grew up in the Bay Area and attended Moraga Valley Presbyterian Church. He has been a counselor at Redwood Camp at Mount Hermon. Calvin is a gifted speaker and storyteller as well as being thoughtful, mature, fun, and energetic. He is married to Kenzie, who is also from the Bay Area. Kenzie has been involved in student ministry as well and has plans to pursue becoming a Marriage and Family Therapist. They are a wonderful couple, each with a great heart and passionate about ministry.

Calvin begins his ministry on Sunday, August 4, and he will be introduced to the congregation on Sunday, August 11, in worship. We hope you will plan to attend a Youth and Family lunch to meet Calvin and Kenzie after the 11:27 service on August 11.  More information will be forthcoming as we get closer to these dates.

Thank you for your prayers for the team and for Calvin and Kenzie as they relocate to the Bay Area. We feel met by God in our search process and are thrilled with the outcome.

Grace and Peace,

The Search Team for the Director of Youth and Family Ministry

Family History

My Mom's side had a Family Reunion this past week.  Unfortunately, Kenzie and I were unable to make it, but we were able to meet my parents on the I-5 as we returned to So Cal and they returned to the Bay. Truth be told, I was somewhat glad I didn't have to go (as I was required to when I lived under my parent's roof), since I end up being quite introverted in new situations. I was thankful to avoid some of the awkward small talk that comes with being around people you're supposed to know, because you're family, but who you actually know nothing about, because you didn't even know they existed, let alone that they were blood relatives, until you showed up at the reunion. Catch my drift?

But as Kenzie and I sat down at a pristinely clean Quizno's at a truck stop in the middle of nowhere, we listened as my parents recounted the legacy of faith that has characterized the McIntosh clan. My grandfather is the youngest of 10 siblings (maybe 12 - I would know if I went to the reunion), and most all of his brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews, children and grandchildren, second and third cousins twice removed are walking, or walked, with the Lord. The Faithfulness of God (which was the theme for the reunion) was, and is evident in this mish-mash of people with whom I share genes. I didn't ask for them, didn't choose them, at times didn't even want them, but their history is my history.  And it is a history of faithfulness, primarily God's and their subsequent response.

Kenzie and I have both struggled through the books of 1-2 Kings and Chronicles.  We both felt bogged down by the tedious attention to insignificant details, lists and lists of names we couldn't remember or keep track of, exploits of one king or another that, over time, became white noise. We were reading Scripture, God's written word, and we couldn't wait to get it over with. It all seemed so pointless, so unnecessary. Couldn't we just move onto Jesus, onto the stuff that matters, onto the stories that really impact our faith?

And yet, as isolated and distant I feel from these obscure stories, I can't forget that they are part of my history.  The stories of the Old Testament, both good and bad, are stories of my mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters.  I've been grafted into a history that I didn't get to write, that I didn't oversee, that I didn't choose, that was part of the whole package sent to me when I said yes to Jesus. And as much as I don't like it at times, don't want to be a part of it, or try to envision myself as somehow outside the bounds of this grand story, I can't escape it.

Just as the genes that have determined my very being are woven into every part of my body and have placed me within a narrative bigger than myself, so too, the Spirit of God, who vivifies and invigorates my crippled soul, has swept me into a beautiful story of redemption. A story of a tattered, bruised, broken, and downtrodden group of people who have somehow come together through the magnificent love of a very good God. It's a reunion that I would definitely not want to miss.

A Tribute to Southern California

Our time in Orange County is quickly coming to a close. We just realized we only have about 5 weeks here, 5 weeks in our first home, 5 weeks with our friends, 5 weeks with our students, only 5 weeks... In any transition, there are a lot of emotions to process, but more often than not those emotions form some strange conglomeration that feels a lot like numbness. My first splash of mourning crept up on me Thursday when I started feeling sad about losing my go-to LA radio stations. I mean, I love me some Ryan Seacrest or Valentine to start my morning commute, but this was certainly a hint of deeper realities of my heart. It's easy to list things I won't miss - like inexplicable traffic on any day at any time, the trains that shake our apartment at all hours, the inability to see stars, having to filter our water, and everything about the 91 freeway - but I also want to record the things I've really come to love here. So, as I process my sadness in leaving this land that had become home over the past 6 years, I've written this tribute.

Dear Southern California, 

The land of unseasonably warm weather and unnatural palm trees, you are a truly beautiful place. I will miss your gorgeous beaches, your pier boardwalks, your Ruby's Diners, the way you make my hair salty and wavy, and the way I feel when I snag a good, free parking spot in Newport Beach. I'll miss the freedom to get a donut at any time of day or night in your many 24 hour donut shops, should I get a craving. I'll miss your cultural diversity and killer hole in the wall restaurants. Ill miss your delicious traveling food trucks. I'll miss Groundlings Improv shows and exploring LA. I'll miss Monday night girls nights with my best friends - who can beat that? I'll miss your morning radio stations. I'll miss your lingo, like how everyone talks about how much time they saved by which freeways and roads they took to get to their location (I'm writing this on the 5 south, not sure if we'll take the 210 to bypass traffic in LA yet). I'll miss prefacing all freeways with "the." I'll miss the phrase 'carmegeddon', honestly, where else is that a real thing? I'll miss living blocks from your cute Old Towne Orange, full of adorable antique shops and eateries. I'll miss the first place Calvin and I have ever called home together.  I'll miss seeing little red Biola parking stickers all over as I drive around. I'll miss hearing Disneyland's fireworks every night like clockwork, or catching the tail end of a show from the freeway. I'll miss recognizing normal places and landmarks as a film location for TV shows and movies. I'll miss hearing the familiar screams as our neighborhood kids play outside or hearing our neighbor greet his cats. I'll miss your warm sunshine that provides shorts weather yearlong. I'll miss the hopefulness of young aspiring somebodies in LA. And your, people, your picture perfect OC people -- once strangers to us, now family.

It's been a good run, So Cal. We hope to bring some if your sunshine and warmth to the city by the bay.

Sincerely yours,

Kenzie

The Gift of Powerlessness

I love those "A-HA" moments, when something familiar suddenly surprises you with something you had never noticed, reminding you to always be alert.  I recall this distinctly happening while at an art museum, gazing at a well known painting.  I was familiar with the picture, but it wasn't until I saw the frenzied brush strokes, the delicately mixed paint, the drops of white that make the colors around burst to life.  That was an A-HA moment, a reminder to never grow comfortable with the world at large.

I had another A-HA moment this morning when reading Scripture. I've been reading about the life of David and its been a bit unsettling at times.  David is first introduced as a man who will seek after God's heart, who will be a faithful king as opposed to Saul.  With this initial description, its easy to fantasize and romanticize David, holding him up as the perfect example of faithfulness and devotion.  And yet this is a guy who eventually abuses his kingly power by impregnating another man's wife and then murdering him to cover his tracks.  The guy whose son rapes his daughter and all he does is slap him on the wrist and send him on his way.  This is the man after God's heart.

I was opened to the dynamic nature of David's character again today.  1 Samuel 24-26 contains three stories about David. David first spares Saul's life when he enters into a cave to relieve himself, not knowing that David is hiding in the back of the cave.  David chooses to let Saul go free rather than kill him, stating that it is the Lord's role to avenge, not him.  Following this, David and his men ask for Nabal to feed them for watching over his shepherds and sheep.  Nabal foolishly refuses and David is about ready to decimate his entire household had not Abigail rushed to David and asked for forgiveness.  David acquiesces and Nabal dies not too long after by the Lord's hand.  Finally, David sneaks into Saul's camp and has the opportunity to kill him once again.  And again, David refuses to kill Saul, leaving vengeance and retribution in the Lord's hand.

In these three stories, we get a simultaneous glimpse of David's devotion to God and his utter rashness.  David is twice willing to spare the life of the man who seeks to take David's life and yet he also is ready and willing to slaughter an entire family over a failure to provide provisions. It is the actions of Abigail that keep David from taking innocent blood, reminding him to leave things in God's hands.

I find it interesting that when David is in a position of powerlessness, with his four hundred men compared to Saul's thousands, he trusts in the Lord, acknowledging that Saul was still anointed by God.  Yet, when David is in a position of power, with four hundred fighting men compared to a single household, he is willing to kill when he doesn't get his way.

Our culture views powerlessness as a form of weakness, something to be avoided at all costs.  But maybe powerlessness and weakness are gifts from God which invite us to greater dependency and trust in the one who orders the sun and the stars. Even more, maybe powerlessness and weakness are not just gifts, but insights into the life and character of God, the God who enters this world as a baby, the God who shows his character not in displays of power, but in an act of powerlessness, helplessness, and absolute weakness.

A Motley Crew

My constant failure is a mark of being Christian, for the beginning point for anyone on the journey towards Christlikeness is a recognition that we fail.  A lot.  And even when we submit ourselves to God's present reign and rule, we still make mistakes and fail.  Thus the beauty of grace.

I was reading 1 Samuel 22 and was struck my something I had never noticed before.  David is fleeing from Saul and hides in the cave of Adullam.  His family hears he is hiding there and they come to join him.  And then the text describes the other people who came to join David in the cave:

"And everyone who was in distress, and everyone who is in debt, and everyone who was bitter in soul, gathered to him. And he became commander over them. And there were with him about four hundred men."

1 Samuel 22:2

Here we have the anointed David, the true King of Israel, fleeing from the egotistical attempts of a rejected king trying in vain to secure his position and status.  And David, rather than attracting the best of the best, those nurtured and trained from a young age with a sword in their hand, finds himself surrounded by a motley crew. Those in distress.  Those in debt. Those embittered and discontent. We don't know why they were distressed, in debt, or discontent.  Some scholars think they were social outcasts, those looking for a chance to overthrow Saul, hoping for a chance to see Saul crushed under David's feet.

When I read this short description of David's loyal band, I was reminded of those whom Jesus called to himself.  Fishermen.  Tax collectors.  Zealous revolutionaries hoping to overthrow Rome by violent means.  One who would eventually betray him.  Jesus may have eaten at the homes of the rich, but when he called them to give all they had and live by the ways and rhythms of the Kingdom, they walked away.  And yet, it was this very same motley crew of misfits that Jesus chose to launch his Kingdom movement to the corners of the world.

Last night my wife and I had dinner with my former youth pastor and a friend I've known since before I can remember.  She is, in her words, "doing what Jesus leads her to do."  She's also living in her parent's basement.  He, an engineer, is living in Long Beach, working for oil companies and attending his local church in the meantime.  My wife and I, in a move that defies reason and logic, are leaving a stable environment and venturing into the unknown.  And as we were saying goodbye last night, I thought to myself, "We are a bit of a motley crew. We may be broken and bruised, but we are still chosen."

There's a church in Colorado named The Scum of the Earth taken from 1 Corinthians 4:13. I think that's an apt description of the church. We are not the pride of the world, but the scum of the earth.  We truly are a motley crew of people to whom God has entrusted his Spirit and Kingdom movement. But should we really be surprised? A quick survey of Scripture reveals its what God has been doing from the very beginning!

Our Next Adventure

The past few months have been full of prayer, questions, decisions to be made, and lots of uncertainty. Weeks of prayer and discernment recently culminated in our final decision for our next steps  - we have decided to move back up to the bay area in August. Kenzie will be beginning her MA in Marriage & Family Counseling with Western Seminary in San Jose and Calvin will be finding a pastoral position.

Now let me rewind and explain our process of how we got here. Over the past year Calvin finished his final year of his Masters of Divinity at APU (with honors!), and Kenzie has applied and been accepted to APU, Vanguard, and Western Seminary for their MFT programs. Regardless of our location, we knew this next adventure would involve transition for us - in schedule, swapping roles, etc. As we thought about and prayed through where the Lord may be leading us, we have had a a few major requests for the Lord:

1. Unity of our hearts
2. An open door
3. Lord, increase our faith (*Admittedly, we did not think prayer requests 1 & 2 were connected with 3, but God has this funny sense of humor...see my blog post titled Doubting Thomas)

Once Kenzie was accepted into schools, the deadlines and weight of our decisions began to set in - do we stay in Orange County with our best friends, jobs, ministries, and church family....or....do we pack up and move back home to the bay area and be closer to family, with or without a job, trusting that God will provide?

After weeks of prayer and discussions, we agreed to set apart one week to "try on" both decisions. Monday and Tuesday we lived as though we had decided to stay in SoCal, noting our reactions, excitements, disappointments, fears, etc. Wednesday we took a day to pray, fast, and transition our hearts. Thursday and Friday were spent wearing the decision to move up north, again noting our reactions, fears, excitements, disappointments. Throughout this week we sought wise counsel of many people in our lives, those who were invested in us staying, those invested in us moving, and those invested in us being faithful to God's whispers.
As a bookend to our week of discernment, we took a one night campout, settling in the slow pace of camping to reflect on our week.

One of the discernment projects we practiced was writing what makes us feel alive and defeated about both decisions. We each wrote our lists separately before comparing - only to find that our lists were almost identical, even sometimes written in the same order! The week was filled with great insights, emotional highs & lows, and great dependence on God.

Though our open door is at Canyon Hills, our hearts are united, at peace, and excited about our new faith journey in moving to be closer to family. We have no idea what the next step will look like, but we know that God is good, and He will provide. Needless to say, this decision is a bitter-sweet one for us. We are excited to feel "home" again, knowing our hearts can settle and lay roots, but we are leaving a loving church family, many friends, and our cozy home in the ridiculously cute Orange circle.

The Sunday after we made our final decision, we sang  Hillsong United's Oceans at church. God's timing is good, and this song may be his first provision for us - an anthem as we continue to rely on Him.



We will be in Orange County through early August, then moving up to our next adventure, whether that be our new home, or my old bedroom at my mom's house :) Please pray with us as we look for job opportunities, housing,  financial provision for school, and increased faith. Thank you all for your support - through this blog and through every day life.
  
We covet your prayers!

To our Canyon Hills Family- We will be here through August 1st and we would love to process this transition together. We understand that losing youth leaders can feel confusing, hurtful, and sad. Know that we are grieving this as well. In our own high school years we each experienced multiple transitions of small group leaders, high school directors, and youth pastors. It's not easy to start over in relationships and it takes time to build trust. In light of that, we are humbled by the opportunities we've had over the past years to be entrusted with each of your lives, and we deeply thank you for walking alongside us. Canyon Hills will remain a special place in our hearts and we promise we won't be strangers, we'll come visit whenever we're in the area and we will gladly offer up our couch to anyone visiting San Francisco! Let's commit to finishing this last leg of our journey together well. We love you all.

Lament

Going through my desk, I (Calvin) found this lament I had written for a class about a year ago.  Our American culture is not too familiar with the lament, other than in popular break up songs.  Yet the Psalms are filled with cries of anguish as people desperately try to make sense of God's movement in the midst of pain.  Though it does not reflect my current status, I was reminded of the need to express our pain in its rawest and simplest form. May you be blessed by this.

Faithful and Redeeming God,
who has called to himself a people set apart and distinct,
bearing your name, living representations of You.

Why must I deal with your people?
What do you gain by covenanting with a people such as these?
Why have you yoked me to them?

With words and proclamations,
they deceitfully masquerade themselves as
faithful, pious, and full of compassion,
yet their hearts are hardened
to forgiveness, love and reconciliation.

Like a beginning art student,
their free-hand attempts to convey your image
only mar the original.

If you've call them to be your representation,
then I don't like the You I've gotten to know.

Pettiness,
Immaturity,
Ignorance,
and Self-Righteousness abound.
Can they get any more creative with their sin?

Though I do not understand, I know that these are your people
that you are transforming by your Holy Spirit.
I know that you have not abandoned us.
Your mercy and patience extend into eternity.

May I see your hand at work in this community and in looking at them, may I see you.

Doubting Thomas

Confession: I'm a PresbyFriend. Let me clarify - first and foremost, I follow Jesus. But I learned how to follow Jesus in a Presbyterian church. I've got reformed theology, a love for solid biblical teaching, structure, and traditional liturgy. Now I'm at an Evangelical Friends church. We love good community (and good food!), emphasizing Jesus in our midst, and influencing our culture. But if I'm really honest, I think I'm a closet wanna-be-charismatic-PresbyFriend.

I spent a summer in college living in the suburbs of Salt Lake City for an internship at a counseling center & spent a lot of time with my church family, The Adventure Four Square Church in Draper. These people are to this day some of the most amazing I've met in my life. They've got story after story of God's movement, his redemption, his life in the midst of a dead world. They also exercise a lot more freedom, movement, and power in the Spirit than my little Presbyterian brain could compute--in the best and most confusing way.

This past weekend I was home for my soon-to-be sister-in-law's bridal show & went to a Four Square church with mom. Their guest speaker was the most adorable 82 year old fire-cracker godly man who does missionary work in the Middle East, bringing millions to know Jesus. He told story after story of people being instantly healed of cancer, of signs and wonders that get people's attention and led them to Jesus. He read us parables and stories of Jesus healing the sick, of compassion welling up inside Him that led him to heal each and every person brought before Him. The speaker then led many to come up and be prayed over to be healed of cancer and sickness. No fanfire or fireworks, just a simple prayer over those with a simple faith in a big, capable God.

And there I sat in my chair, nervous. Not because anything they said was off base, but because I was convicted that my intellectual faith sometimes doesn't translate to a faith that fully trusts in God for all things. I can describe His power, cite passages of him healing the sick, blind, demonized, raising the dead...but apparently my heart doesn't fully believe it. I'm a doubting Thomas. I crave to live as Jesus intended his followers to live. A life I often describe as mundanely normal interwoven with threads of the miraculous. I struggle to find that balance, to boldly display the power of the Holy Spirit in my daily life. We are His ambassadors, with His authority, His power, & His inheritance granted to us as adopted children..

Last weekend I realized I believe all those things, yet they were wrapped in some unspoken contingencies: That living what I believe doesn't make me look foolish. That I'm not embarrassed. That it works within my schedule... Ultimately, I think I set up these walls in my heart so that I'm not disappointed if God chooses not to heal. If he chooses to answer differently than I wanted. If he chooses to be silent. I realized that I give up easily when disappointed or hurt. My heart puts up protective walls, and this week I realized once again that on those walls are written I don't fully trust you, God.  Calvin recently listened to a sermon that said the opposite of faith is not doubt, it's sight. I am Thomas, who wouldn't believe Jesus was resurrected until He saw the wounds in his hands.

This week I've struggled to make sense of my heart. I'm reading through the gospels and finding innumerable accounts of this miraculous, normal life that doesn't always fit with the world I experience. Our God is sovereign, He will do what he wants, yet there is some mysterious relationship with our faith and his movement around us. And my faith is peanut sized, easily wavered when hit with disappointments. I've got no idea what this journey will look like. I only know I'm committing myself to pursuing a persistent faith like the one of the widow seeking justice...like the bleeding woman who knew if she could just touch His garment she'd be healed...like the centurion whose servant was dying....like the paralytic's friends...like the little boy with 5 fish and 2 loaves...like my 82 year old brother in Christ. I pursue faith not for faith's sake, because a misplaced faith, no matter how great, is ultimately in vain. I pursue a great faith because my God is great.

Sometimes I'll need to borrow other people's faith. So journey with me, encourage me, remind me of our great God, of the things He's done. Together I think we'll find a rich journey of adventuring with Jesus, a life that draws attention to our great King.



**I know there are a lot of views on gifts and how they are to be used, or not used, in today's context. I'm not advocating any certain theological stance, only responding to what I read in the Bible and hoping to live that out fully. Be gracious with me.

The Untameable Cross

Tomorrow is Good Friday, the penultimate paradox of Christianity, a celebration of a death that brings life. We do well to approach tomorrow with hesitancy, with bated breath, with a slowness in our step and a quiver in our voice.  Tomorrow is the great upheaval, the day when the evil and violence that we've welcomed into our beds is overthrown, but not with a greater act of power.  Rather, the darkness of the human heart is revealed for what it is in the face of God's submission to sacrifice. No one took his life- he laid it down. God submits to death.  And at the center of it all stands the cross.

I think we've become too comfortable with the cross.  We've tamed it and simplified it so it looks good on our walls, compliments our flower garden, and spices up our outfit as a crystallized accessory. We've forgotten, or maybe chosen to forget, the scandal of the cross.  This object that we've become so familiar with, that decorates our homes and stands at the center of our houses of worship, is nothing more than a torture device.

In Jesus' time, a cross was not looked upon with fondness of heart.  The cross conjured up images of disfigured, beaten bodies, streams of blood flowing from hands and feet. One could hear the sound of agonized screams of pain, or staggered breathing as those hours from death struggled to breath. One could smell the feces, the urine, the vomit as criminals nailed to the wood lost control of their systems, their bodies shutting down. Rome, who made torture an art form, considered the cross to be their masterpiece, their magnum opus.

That we have crosses on our walls, jewelry, clothing, or back windows of our cars is akin to covering our possessions with pictures of the electric chair. We do well to remember that the cross is not first, a religious symbol that brings peace, but a symbol of our wickedness, our depraved nature.

Although it is a symbol of ancient forms of torture, today, it IS a symbol of peace and love, that salvation has been accomplished. When we look at the cross we see that the evils of this world, the sick and twisted ways we perpetuate violence day in and day out, will never have the last word.  No matter what depths we may stoop to, we see, at the cross, the love of God descending to our level, grabbing our face in his hands, and speaking three simple words - "It is finished."

The cross is a reminder that even the darkest forms of humanity are not averse to the light of God's redemption.  The light always overcomes darkness.  And though darkness covered the land at Christ's death, the light that breaks the dawn on Easter morning reminds us the resurrection is just around the corner. So this Good Friday, Holy Saturday, and Easter Sunday, may we be simultaneously made uncomfortable and comforted, repulsed and invited, saddened and overjoyed, at the sight of the cross

Blinded by Manna

I fall asleep to the sound of rain, muffled by the roof over our head which keeps us warm for the night.  I love the rain, but that's because I have the luxury of observing it from safety and shelter.  Others don't have this.

I wake up to the sound of birds enjoying the fresh, sun streaked morning, singing their song for whoever chooses to listen. I pull the covers close to my head and nestle into the silky sheets we received as a wedding gift. I could sleep in, but I choose to wake up.

As I get ready, I mentally browse through my breakfast options as one browses the internet, with little haste and no sense of urgency.  Aimlessly, really.  Eggs?  Smoothie?  Cereal?  Oatmeal? Which cereal? Shredded Wheat?  Cheerios? It doesn't really matter.  Whatever I choose, I'll walk out of my one-bedroom apartment, ideally situated close to Old Towne (the "e" is silent) Orange with no sense of hunger.

I enter my closet, pull open the drawer and grab the first shirt off the top of the pile.  It's one I wear often, as I don't take the time to search through the shirts at the bottom of the drawer.  Besides, my favorite shirts are always at the top.  That's why they're there.  Duh.

I put on my new pair of khakis, pants I didn't really need, but I had tried them on at Old Navy and I thought I looked pretty good.  Especially when I wear it with my black North Face Jacket.  I think it makes me look part adventurer, part worker, part down-to-earth guy, an image I'd love to convey.

I open up the refrigerator to make myself lunch for the day when I realize that we've left our lunch supplies at church.  I could grab a few slices of bread to make a sandwich with the meat and cheese we have.  Or I could use the new Trader Joe gift cards we have to buy myself something for lunch.  I choose the latter.  I'll always have sandwiches.  I won't always have TJ gift cards.

After arriving at church, I sit down at my desk, surrounded by piles of papers and books, some of which have felt very neglected as of late.  I grab my Bible and open to Exodus 17, the story of God's provision of manna for the Israelites.

It's amazing really.  They wake up each morning and food is there for them, lying on the ground, waiting to be collected, like a fresh blanket of snow.  As each family gathers food, they find that there is always enough for each day, never more, never less.

They did this for 40 years.  Each day, waking up to a fresh blanket of food covering the ground, just enough for each day.  I wonder if they ever took it for granted?  Or was each day as exciting as the first?  Did there come a point in time, after they had gone through their "365 Ways to Cook Manna" cookbook a few times, they were, dare I say it, ungrateful?  It sure did.  Numbers 11 documents their desire for a little meat to go with their manna.

Those silly Israelites.  If only their hearts weren't so hardened.  If only they didn't try to gather more than they needed.  If only they were truly grateful for the things God had given them.  If I had lived through the wilderness wandering, I'm sure I would have been grateful.

I best be going.  I've got a dinner to make.  Or maybe we'll eat out.  We don't really have much good food to eat anyway.

Slowing Down for Lent

In America we've lost the art & space of stillness. We are a super time-oriented culture. When we were in Ireland last summer, I was shocked to see there were no clocks in any of the hotel rooms. Sometimes our wake up calls were 20 minutes early. To me this seemed crazy, but they were just taking their time and slowly enjoying their life as it happened. The Church in other countries sometimes calls the American Church the "Happy Clappy" church. Our worship services reflect it - 3 fast songs to get us excited, 1 power ballad reflective song, then back on our feet clapping, before we hear a sermon and we're off to lunch. Here in Orange County, we're accustomed to a happy-clappy, fast paced lifestyle. I find myself pasting on a smile, packing my schedule full of activities, hopping from point A to B all day before getting home at 10pm and starting it all over again. In a state of perpetual haste, lots of things get run over, and quality time with the Lord is no exception.

So when Calvin asked me the other morning if we wanted to give up something for Lent, I decided that I'm going to give up speeding. I meant this most literally. Our friend Brendan (whose wisdom you can read in his own blog, Watch . Listen . Be .) gave up speeding for Lent a few years ago. He noted a few things - 1. You don't get anywhere significantly faster if you speed, 30 seconds, maybe. 2. Slowing down to the speed limit helps you slow down your heart & mind as well. I've been practicing slowing down on the freeways the last few days, and it's amazing how a small, intentional action can change my attitude as I start to my day. As cars whiz past me at 85mph+, I don't feel angry, or the need to compete, or change lines every 30 seconds to get 5 yards ahead. I feel calmer & more present in the car to listen to the radio, to pray, to sing, whatever. My heart takes cues from my body slowing down.

I'm hoping that this physical slowing will bleed into the attitude of my heart and mind. As I slow down in my car, in trying to multitask 4 things at once, in my work, in my time getting ready in the morning, etc. I'm praying that God will open my eyes to see his movement around me. That in my new commitment to slowness, I'll spend more time reflecting & listening to God in my daily time in the Word, not just crossing it off my list. I'm confident He's already moving in my midst, but most of the time I'm flying past him, too busy & too fast to notice anything around me.

In my hurried, speeding state I usually feel a little bit crazy. A little bit (probably a lot) rude to my husband as I'm rushing around the house. A little bit more important than the people I'm speeding past. A little bit self-consumed. Though in the moment running a little late or getting stuck behind that car on the freeway seems inconvenient, I think this "sacrifice" for Lent will slowly shape me more into Christ-likeness. And drawing closer to Jesus is what Lent's all about right?

Daddy Issues

A few weeks ago, I (Kenzie) read through the account of Abraham & Isaac in Genesis 22. Here God tests Abraham's faithfulness by asking him to sacrifice his only son as an offering. Like many others who have grown up in the church, I've heard this story time and time again. It's easy to read the story in light of its ending. God sends an angel to stop Abraham from killing his son.& instead provides a ram to sacrifice on the mountain. Hooray! We happily gloss over the details, then admire Abraham's faith and devotion to God. Not this time. I finished reading, turned to Calvin, and said "Okay, now where are the follow up chapters that talk about how Isaac never trusted his dad again, spent the rest of his life in therapy recovering from trauma, and decided this "God of Abraham" thing was not for him? Can you imagine the conversation between Abraham & Sarah when they return from their trip? "Welcome back, honey, how was your trip with your dad? Good bonding time?"

But, as with many of the details of the Bible, the reader is left to imagine. Daddy issues. That's what I imagine. Serious PTSD, trust problems, and big-time daddy issues. In fact, this story haunted me for weeks. I really struggled with why God would test Abraham like this. We praise Abraham for his faithfulness, yet I have to wonder about the task set before him. Anyone who tried to do the same today in the name of God would end up with CPS at their front door & a nice, long jail sentence.

Calvin gave me a good read on this, which gave good insights, but still didn't ease the tension I felt. As I reflected & struggled through my questions, I have come to no profound or comforting conclusion. In fact, it still makes me really uncomfortable. But as I continue to wrestle with my discomfort over this story, I've realized how comfortable I've become with the gospel. Here is this story of a father, asked to sacrifice his one and only son, and I am appalled. I'm cringing, sweating, then relieved that he doesn't have to go through with it. Yet here's another story I'm very comfortable with - a father sacrifices his one and only son, who willingly agrees to die, and no one stops it. In fact the crowds encourage it. And I'm indifferent. Hmm...sound like a familiar story line?

My intense discomfort with Abraham's story has only highlighted my silence to the Father's willingness to do the same. Abraham proved his love and devotion to the Lord. And the Lord has proved his love, devotion, and forgiveness to us in Jesus. He has spared nothing to pursue us, to show us His amazing love, yet sometimes I sit back with my own spiritual daddy issues, uncertain if I'm ready to trust Him.

May I continue to hear with fresh ears and react when I hear the absurdity of the gospel - that a Father would give his only Son to ransom us. That deserves a reaction. It's a story worth telling. It's a God worth getting to know.

Faithfulness over Efficiency

Of the many lessons I've learned in marriage, one of the most important is the need to choose one's words wisely.  For instance, one evening, having dinner with close friends, Kenzie and I were asked what the title of a book would be that chronicled our first year of marriage. My first response was "Pre-Marital Failure," which was an attempt to convey how I felt that pre-marital counseling, while helpful, did little to truly prepare Kenzie and I for the profound mysteriousness of marriage. Unfortunately, all Kenzie heard was that I thought our marriage was a failure. The moral of the story? Choose your words wisely, for they can communicate far more than you may intend.

This lesson is not only applicable in all marriages, relationships, and friendships, but I think we need to be mindful of this in the way we speak of God and the work he has beckoned us to join him in. For instance, as Christians, I think the words "effective" and "efficient" should be eradicated from our vocabulary when it comes to talking about ministry.  Eradicated?  Strong word I know, but I feel quite strongly about this.

I have no problem with people running an effective business or being mindful of more efficient ways to accomplish one's work. Effectiveness and efficiency communicate the importance of maximizing one's resources, finding the best way with a minimal amount of supplies to create the biggest net result. These words, if they could talk, might say, "We know the goal we're pursuing, but can we attain it in a better, faster, more productive way? Can we save time, energy, or money?"  Effectiveness focuses on results and the means by which those results are achieved.  And sometimes, when effectiveness is the highest priority, the means by which results are attained are uncritically accepted.  Then, it doesn't matter exactly how you do it as long as you get the most results. The ends begin to justify the means.

These words are great for a business, but horrible for the church. God is not concerned with effectiveness and efficiency, but faithfulness. God is not concerned just with the results, but with every step of the process.  Everything we do says something about who God is and what his Kingdom is like. With faithfulness, the goal is not results, but conformity to and unity with God.

I could see effectiveness and efficiency having a place within the church if the goal is the glory of God.  Effectiveness then becomes, "How can I maximize glory for God?" which is a lot more akin to faithfulness. But glory to God is a bit more intangible than, for instance, more people.  And efficiency and effectiveness tend to focus more on what we can see and measure. Eventually, over time, the ends will eclipse the means. Thus, if we removed the words altogether from our vocabulary, I think it would free us to faithfulness.

Some may think that I'm creating a false dichotomy here, which may be true. I just can't help but think about Jesus' ministry, who gave such difficult teachings that many walked away and abandoned him completely.  Effective?  Probably not. Faithful? He's the primary image of what faithfulness looks like.

Top 10 Things Christians Say that Aren't in the Bible

Anyone that's spent a decent amount of time in Christian culture can identify some "Christianese" - language that we casually toss around among believers but any outsider would be hard pressed to know what we mean. For example -"I was so blessed by that song." or "I echo that prayer." If you need a good laugh, check out this video, Shoot Christians Say.

All in good fun, we are offering our Top 10 Things Christians Say that Aren't in the Bible.

1. God took him/her home because he needed another flower in His garden.

While sweetly intended, I don't know any grieving person that would find comfort in God taking someone they loved so that He can have another sunflower. Also, why is it comforting that we become potted plants after we die? Yikes.

2. God will not give you more than you can handle.

Have you ever read the account of Abraham and Isaac? In what planet is that bearable for a parent? Mental illness? War? Tragedy?

3. God helps those who help themselves.

Actually, Republicans say that.

4. Where two or more are gathered, there He will be also...

This actually is biblical, it comes right from Matthew 18, but context is key - the passage is talking about church discipline. Check it out. We tend to use this passage to say if two or more are gathered then we can confidently know God is here with us. Don't worry, you can talk to God when you're alone, too.

5. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

The ultimate Christian sports team t-shirt verse. Again, let's look context - Paul is talking about some pretty extreme suffering conditions, namely that he can be in plenty or want and do it all through Christ who gives him strength. But if any of you find a secret strategy to running faster or jumping higher because of this verse, let us know!

6. The safest place to be is the center of God's will

I guess this one depends on how you interpret "safe"...but all of the disciples were martyred. We'll concede to C.S. Lewis' quote in Narnia for this one, "He's not safe, but he's good."

 

7. Let go, let God

In all fairness, sometimes we can get in the way of what God is doing and need to let Him be God. More often than not, however, this is quoted after something doesn't go well & we don't want to take responsibility.

8. Jesus is my boyfriend.

No, he's not. That's kinda weird.

 

9. When God closes a door, He opens a window.

Does God have a plan for us and know what's best for us? Yes. Does God enjoy making us crawl through small spaces? I doubt it.

10. Love the sinner, hate the sin.

Let us know how that conversation goes with your non-Christian friends...Instead let's just love them and let the Holy Spirit do His job in turning them toward Jesus & sanctifying them.

In His/Her Own Likeness

I love Genesis and reading of the creation of humanity.  It's beautiful to know that man and woman are created in the likeness and image of God. Though God is completely other and different from us, nonetheless we share a similarity with God.  We come from God, we find that our life flows from God, we are somehow like God, but we are not God nor can we be equated with him.  In God's creation of humanity, there is similarity and difference, continuity alongside originality. In this tension between similarity and difference, there was the opportunity that God's creation, made in his image, might choose to live contrary to that divine image.

When I reflect on God's creation of humanity, I think there is something we can learn about parenting.  Now I'm not a parent, nor am I expecting to be a parent anytime soon. But as one who works with high school students and their parents, I've had the opportunity to observe both good and bad parenting. One thing that I've noticed is the temptation for parents to fashion their children into their own image.  Just as God creates in his own likeness, parents create children in their own likeness as well. Children adopt their parents facial structure, personality quirks, mannerisms, and even the tone of voice.  I've heard many parents say how simultaneously joyful and frightening it is to see the similarities between themselves and their children. In one sense, it is inevitable that children will be made in the likeness of their parents.

The temptation is in the fashioning. I imagine that another human being that looks like you, talks like you, and acts like you can feel like the extension of one's self. When this human being fails, it feels like you've failed.  When they look bad, they make you look bad. But if you can keep them from failing, from messing up, from making the same mistakes you made, then maybe they might turn out better than you did.

And so parents begin to fashion. Urging their child to play a certain sport. Requiring practice so similar mistakes aren't made. Demanding a better performance in school saying, "'B's' just aren't good enough." High standards, lofty expectations, and a persistent drive for more. And over time, I think children will come to realize that these standards weren't for the child, but for the parent. This is one, of many, reasons why children resist their parents.

God is the one who fashions, molds, and transforms.  He invites parents into that process but in the end, its His work and His job.  Just as God made humanity different, so too children are different than their parents.  Children are not a second chance for parents, but an entirely new creation.  Parenting absolutely involves discipline, training, and instruction, but above all else, a parent's calling is to not fashion their children into their own image, but into God's image.  This is God's work.  Parent's get the sheer joy of being a part of it.

 

My Love-Hate Relationship with the Bible

Sometimes I strongly dislike reading the Bible. I know it sounds unChristian to say that, but its true.  Before you begin to question my salvation or my calling to pastoral ministry, let me explain.

I believe that the way that we have treated Scripture and approached it has created a set of false expectations of what we expect to experience when we enter into God's word. I've heard many pastors encourage the practice of reading Scripture in the morning (which I agree with) so that you begin the day correctly and see everything through God's eyes.But sometimes when this application is put forth, there seems to be an idea that you will always get something out of Scripture.  That whenever you read it, God's going to show you something new and radically change your day.  I know I've even said this before in my teachings.  The problem is that this isn't always true, nor does it always happen.  Maybe I'm doing something wrong, but sometimes I read God's word and it's really boring.  Sometimes I feel like I'm just reading and nothing more.  And when I "get nothing out of it," I'm disappointed.

Other times, (prepare yourself for broad generalization) we see Scripture as an Encyclopedia of spiritual truths and promises that will make our day better. And so we read the juggernaut passages that proclaim, "I know the plans I have for you," "Your name is written in the palm of my hand," "I can do anything through Christ who gives me strength." But we enter into our day and it's not long before we get in a fight with a close friend, find out we might not be able to pay rent, or just feel completely abandoned by God. Thus Scripture can give hope, but it can also be a reminder of how far we are from living these spiritual insights. Again, I get disappointed.

The issue in both instances above is not Scripture, but in the way we think of it and approach it.  Scripture does not exist to give you a spiritual high for the day. The Bible is not an encyclopedia to give you spiritual insights for the day.  It is not the tool to make sure that your day is better.  It does not exist to assure you that you are good enough, smart enough, and gosh darn it people like you. The Bible is the revelation of God.  We read it, not to gather information, but to encounter and be encountered by God. So I think it makes sense that we be disappointed when Scripture doesn't make us feel good or doesn't seem to provide spiritual insights because it was never meant to do that. In God's word we get to know God.

At this point, you probably want to hear me say that when I read God's word as a means to know God and to hear him speak, then I enjoy reading the Bible. But again, when I do hear God speak, I don't often like what he says. He calls away from comfort, away from feeling good, away from the security of self and into a death that will ultimately lead to life.  But I've gotta get through that death first.  And a lot of the time, I don't like the process of death.  I'm not sure many do. Don't get me wrong. 

I was reading Matthew 13 today and over and over again, Jesus tells these picture/stories of what his kingdom looks like.  It looks like a seed that bears fruit, yielding a hundredfold. It looks like a tiny seed that grows into the biggest tree. It looks like yeast that transforms the whole loaf of bread. Wheat and weeds living together. A man selling all he has to buy a field. A merchant giving everything he owns to purchase a pearl. A net that gathers fish. And the more I read the more I realized how far from this kingdom life I am. In these parables, I heard the voice of God beckoning me to death. Come to the grave. Give me your dry bones and into them, I will breathe life.

You might be wanting me to close with an exhortation to read Scripture. I think you should.  Even though I don't always like it, I keep doing it.  I need it.  It really is life for my soul.  There have absolutely been times when God speaks his peace and comfort over me.  There are times when I come to his living stream and drink deeply of the life that he gives. But if you're only looking to feel good, the Bible's not the place for that. If you want to have your life flipped upside down, your world transformed, and your life altered, then read Scripture. You'll be speaking with God, but there's no promise that you'll like what he says.

Video Games and Violence

When I was in 5^th grade, my belief that the classroom was a safe place was shattered when two boys entered into their high school and opened fire, killing numerous people. All eyes were on Columbine, and the media sought to blame someone or something for the killings.  Violent video games soon became the guilty culprit and many argued that violence in video games increases aggression in individuals, showing this through numerous studies. The video game industry quickly responded, conducting their own tests, which produced completely opposite results. How should we interpret "science" producing diametrically opposed conclusions? How should Christians think about and engage violence in video games?

            Before I continue, I should note that I'm 90% pacifist. Thus my own personal beliefs betray my conclusions.  I also know that many students might not like what I have to say. But in entering into ministry, I have effectively given up the right or desire to be liked. I must speak what I believe is true with love and grace, regardless of how much someone may not like me because of it.  But enough of my own insecurities.

            My issue with violence in video games is that it is not a passive, but an active violence.  Let me explain. When we watch movies, television, even the news, we are confronted with graphic images of violence. This is a passive participation.  I did not choose to make the violence happen nor did I will it.  I passively observed it.  But with video games, I am actively choosing to enact simulated violence.  In some games, like Call of Duty, I am enacting violence upon other humans.  Even if they may be cartoonish, the recent trend in video games has been a pursuit of realism.  Each new militaristic video game has more like life characters than the last.  And with each pull of the trigger, we are choosing to enact violence upon another character.

            In light of what I mentioned in my last post, the more we do something, the more it becomes habit. The more one solves problems with simulated violence, the more one will begin to turn towards violence when faced with other situations, simulated or real. The more one chooses to solve imaginary issues with violence, I believe, the more likely one might be to view violence as a viable option.

            As Christians, we must be wary of our relationship with violence. In looking at Jesus, we see that he did not use violence when he inaugurated the Kingdom of God. Though there were expectations at the time of a king-like ruler in the manner of David who would conquer Rome and lead Israel to victory, Jesus allowed violence to be inflicted upon himself, not others. Jesus did not establish his Kingdom with violence; he established it with his sacrificial death. In his Kingdom, he admonished his disciples not to respond with violence when he was betrayed. He raised the standard of the law, equating hatred and anger with murder. And as his Kingdom continues, he calls all of his disciples to foster a radical, consistent, and revolutionary love that becomes automatic. When Christians continuously enact violence against virtual characters, they are forming themselves in a manner antithetical to the Kingdom of God.

            I must conclude by confessing that I don't completely follow my own beliefs.  I am a hypocrite when it comes to this.  There are times when I enjoy playing violent video games.  I try to avoid video games in which one must kill other humans.  I would prefer to kill aliens or fictional monsters, as these may one day be a real threat. I think (and I may be making justifications for myself) that killing aliens does not encourage me to inflict violence upon other people.  But other games might.  Therein lies the call to discernment for all who follow Christ.

 

Video Games and Virtue

One of the beautiful things about being a youth pastor is that playing video games with students (in the name of forming deeper connections) can be considered an aspect of my job. Since the creation of Pong, video games have steadily become a major part of our culture, especially youth. While I get to play video games with students, I also have had numerous conversations with parents about how to navigate video games in light of who God is and what he is doing in the world.  Thus, for the next few posts, I want to explore how Christians ought to engage video games.  My hope is that my following thoughts will be a beginning place for further discussion between parents and students.

            When talking about video games, I think it’s more important to explore what they do to us than what they are about. This places the conversation about video games in the realm of formation rather than information. Or to put it another way, what kind of character might video games be forming within us? While it is very true that many video games include graphic depictions of violence and gore that can brand themselves within one’s mind, I haven’t heard many conversations about how video games might be teaching people how to live. Therefore, just because a game is rated E doesn’t necessarily mean it is good to play. And on the other hand, just because a game is rated M doesn’t mean it should automatically be avoided. What does the game do to us?

            N.T. Wright, a New Testament scholar, in his book After You Believe talks about the importance of pursuing virtue within the Christian life.  He defines virtue as “the conscious performance of certain practices, namely ones that are positive, that eventually develop into automatic habits.” For him, when you repeatedly perform an action that carries meaning, over time, that action will seep into your being such that it will progressively become easier to carry it out.  For instance, the more I practice being generous with my money, the more naturally it will come, such to the point that it becomes second nature- a habit.

            Now before we too quickly throw video games out the window for propagating violence, there are games that force players to make challenging, ethical or virtuous decisions.  Games like Mass Effect, Dragon Age, or Fable, are games that force players to think through ethically challenging dilemmas. Players can choose for their character to make positive or negative choices that can have consequences within the game. Some games even have multiple endings to account for the choices made in the game.  Thus, one’s decisions are not necessarily meaningless, but are important. And the more one wrestles with tough situations and makes positive decisions within games, the more likely one might be to make those decisions in real life. Thus, video games can help someone to become more virtuous.

            But what about violent content within video games?  How are families to navigate this realm?  Stay tuned for a future post!